I have a new found respect for the technological bundle of internet, email, texting, and words with friends. I got the news that my Grandfather had a severe stroke and may be undergoing some type of surgery by the end of the week. Yes, I call him Grandfather. He never said whether or not he preferred Grandpa or Gramps or anything other than Grandfather. Although I am sure that if he did not like the name I gave him he would surely let me know. He had no problem speaking his truth to me. I could always count on him to be straight up and forward with me, no subtleties and no beating around the bush, not from him, not ever. That is what I admire and like about him. When I was just a little girl, still in grade school, I watched the movie "Heidi." Heidi and her Grandfather had the perfect relationship as far as I can remember. It was then that I decided to call my Grandpa, "Grandfather," it was a name, that for me represented a purest form of trust and love.
I love my Grandfather. I love him for so many reasons one of them being that he liked me and not because he had to. He genuinely liked me. He listened and conversed. He never ever casted judgement or lay shame, though, trust me, he never hesitated to tell me if he though I was full of shit. He called bull when he thought bull. He brought me laughter and confidence and I trusted that he always had my back. He lifted me up.
Now here I am so so many miles away and he is thinking of leaving this world. I know it is ridiculous for me to think that I could find a way to get to Idaho and I could change everything. Make my Grandfather well and put him back to the way I remember him. I am not going to make it to Idaho any time soon and I feel so helpless and sad. If I could just have another moment with this man whom I hold so dear to my heart. He must know that he is one of a kind in my book and he added so much joy to my life. He made a difference. His love, honesty, and so many words he spoke from his heart, adds to the beauty I find in life. I can only hope I told him and showed him what he meant to me.
A few years back I read a book by Mitch Album titled "The Five People You Meet In Heaven." I just want to say that I hope my Grandfather is one of the five people I have the honor of meeting in heaven.
I have hope that he will recover from this stroke. So far the news that I have received has been far from positive or hopeful of a full recovery. I will keep him close to my heart and in my thoughts and send prayer for peace, comfort, and healing.
Thank you to my loved ones (Shawn, Hope, and Carlee) for reaching out to me and keeping me informed. It means more to me than you will ever know. I feel pretty blessed that we are docked and a little closer to civilization and I was able to receive the news, though I would have preferred it to be good news.
|April 3, 2014|
|I love this smile|